going back in time. here are 10+ drafts from my tumblr vault–a washed out look into 2012-2015. Age 13-15.

Music to Check OUT/ download


Just more thoughts while I’m on this machine. I feel unfortunate because this will make the total number of my drafts reach thirteen.. oh well. Haha well, this art-blog-scrolling-music-listening hobby of mine is getting nowhere. It has no point, and yes I don’t know. The music is nice though, very goood. So I am going to watch television series now I guess, which is so dissapointing, but there’s no helping it. I’m sorry.

Queer Art and Work and Words

Reading – skipping lines, dropping words, mutating forms, skimming – as a kind of poetry


some rules of alliance born of sound display

Today I went from opening a regular email to clicking to a list of 50 Best LGBTQ books on Oprah Magazine, to a review of Jean Cocteau: A Life, to more work by the reviewer, to a piece on Instagram and looks.

In a separate distraction, a search auto-populated with some past page I must have opened of an i-D article on side-hustles that I’m now fully reading. Looking at quotes like “inactivity as a goal”

floating notes: aspiring artists used to make porn in the 70s.
giving the audience exactly what they want describes porn

2019 is 3/4 over

what were your goals for 2019? reflect below

Thinking about this photo I saved earlier in 2019. I loved its honesty and the openness of each goal. “Communicate” is one of my favorites.

Finding time

In 2019 I struggled a lot with finding time for the right things. Asking myself “why” at every step was the hardest thing to do, and it also helped a lot in figuring out what even were these “right things.” I know now that, for me, the future is my primary focus. The future and the things associated with it are my “right things,” and I hope to focus more of my time on these things and less on the past going forward.

*a little note before I go. Trying out a new daily blog posting schedule where I’ll post at 7pm EST each day–ideally time for you to settle in after your commute and approximately the time I’ll be having dinner.

Instructions for instructions

This weekend was a long one. As a part of a ridiculously generous company policy, summer Fridays exist for all employees regardless of seniority.. what does that mean for me, an entry-level Marketing Assistant?

Well, since my hiring on August 5th, 2019, I’ve had every other Friday off. That’s incredible! To make it even more insane, I also took my personal day last Friday, which means for the past three weeks I’ve had work off on Friday. Labor Day was today so I got a four-day weekend at the end of my first month (has it already been that long?) at Hachette.

Since end of June, I’ve been scheduling daily posts for this blog with the consummate litany of tags and categories that I thought would promote the likes and views and follows that I had been seeing earlier this summer. Although the views remained more or less consistent, engagement dropped and I haven’t seen much change except when I post a non-scheduled post.

I won’t pretend that I know how this blogging game works. For now I’ll focus on having the drafted archived posts up for posterity.

How to capture the essence of a moment

To capture the essence of a moment, put it in a bottle and secure it’s precious quality for later reminiscence. How to: 

1. Find an empty part of the mind.

2. Keep mind open.

3. Allow moment’s sensations and emotions to flow into the vacant lot.

4. Focus on capturing the essence.

5. Seal the memory by soaking oneself in its sensory perceptions and feelings.

No title originally

Where does originality come from. The wise always say it starts with imitation, but doesn’t that sound counter-intuitive? Be yourself by first applying elements of another’s persona. Ah maybe I’m just confusing myself with the terminology.. Originality or greatness. To be truthful: I took this from Kill Your Darlings. The small clip when Professor Steaves writes and says, “Greatness comes from imitation”, or something along those lines. Ginsberg doesn’t look so convinced. I truly believed it though(prior to KYD), but now I’m questioning everything. I mean yes, everyone has to start somewhere if tabula rasa is real. We are shaped by our experiences, but I also think by the people we’re around and draw influence from either willingly or subconsciously. Is it possible to have entirely unique experiences, devoid of mainstream culture and pass paradigms? Well, one would need extremely radical parents. The more I think of it, the more it seems absolutely impossible. I can’t even fathom a family like that, though I can some who come very, very close, but never fulfill the characteristics established above. Like a hyperbola; getting infinitely close but never crossing that asymptote. Ha! I found it: posterity…Um too late now, but yes it means all future generations (of people). To be honest, I don’t think that model is even desirable. Certain aspects of our already established society should be kept, while some should definitely be thrown away. But how can we as the people agree upon what is changed and what is not? When something from the long-standing paradigm is extirpated, their will be a reaction that instigates further changes that will climax in an uncontrollable succession of radical movements, then the original intention of the moderates will be lost among the cloud of crazed revolutionaries.

omg long Instagram caption on work/life and yes!

ahhh long (messy, boring!) post: I forget to take videos but werk is rlly good!! I just spent hours(2:45/5:10~) revising content drafts todsyv – which actually ..take a long time for each post.. we commission our contributors from bookriot, and I drafted a couple today you want to talk about race, the books by that author who wrote yes means yes, brain on fire, some new book content on David Baldacci.

sorry work is sort of boring to write and read about, but I find it interestinganf exciting ATM. hmu if u want to hear more! or just keep reading.

i attended and took minutes for my first social media working group meeting –//everyone who does social across all imprints gather for an hour~ to talk ideas/updates. that was pretty Early (10(

b4 that I .. updated our new books on sale on our homepage!! couple cool new books in. I’m interested in a nonbinary author who wrote a book against free speech? .. might cop if I spot a copyX

the least “work” thing I did today was spend (way too mucb) timev looking at different fake flowers and random fairy lights??? to stock our new social media production room with. we had 800???dollars for just props and im way under budget but idek what else to buy without being dumb. so I was failing at my task to shop online. I tried UO bc they have cuteand overpriced things lol

on my coworkers: so the ppl at Hachette are mostly friendly. they’re known for that in the industry..some odd bits of my earlier research being tested irl. I met and had lunch with a graphic designer for Grand Central who started same day as me, and she offered to walk to Central Park with me for lunch someday and hang out on the weekends since she lives next door in crown heights. and….on the bad side I’m tbh intimidated by some of the social media ppl! some are so sweet and luckily everyone I work with in marketing strategy is 💗💗💗.

on like ..completing tasks: everytime I think I do something slightly bad I freaaak out, and my manager is always like nah it’s perfect. She’s super organized herself, so it can be a bit like “I have to be perfect 2!” but the pressure is all in my head. I’d rather have an incredibly competent boss than a disorganized one anyways. her character definitely rubs off on me. same on the opposite end with, for example, disorganized professors. if a professor sucked in their fields, then my scholarship usually suffered. 💩

on work/life balance33: love the pace of publishing. All posts are scheduled and prepared in advance and projects are always so thought out. that means I can either keep iterating or not think about work unless I’m at work.

some random culture: the phrase “best practices” gets thrown around a lot. thanks for reading to the end💤💤 I am gonna write a longer blog post on this for future documentation.