Commissioned by Rest for Resistance, a QTPOC mental health resources space and event non-profit, for their May Mental Health month series.
I’m unsure when I walk into therapy for the first time. It’s free on-site college counseling. Nothing fancy, and my therapist seems gay. Subconsciously, I relax.
full piece here
Through the three free sessions my expensive private university allows per semester I divulge some kind of sense of soul to this stranger. He tells me I have “an anxiety problem” that manifests in bodily shivers, sweat, and phantom pressures on my chest, forehead and ears. I tell him my chest, forehead and ears are the most unrealized parts of my body and he recommends sleeping on it. I’m not sure what to say in return, unsure what to say to someone who readily tells you to deal with a problem of unreality with more sleep. I nod every time he repeats my words back at me, certain that in this process of semantic back and forth I’d eventually, somehow, catch a solid sense of meaning.”