fear is the greatest human emotion, perhaps the only one. even love is a sub-feeling, a by-product of fear. we love out of fear. no matter what fear, it doesn’t matter. fear of loneliness, mostly. fear of death. wanting to last in people’s memories.
not sure where this is from
Tag: blogger
To all the clothes I loved before..
I’m trying to be a lot more deliberate in my looks now that I kind of have nowhere to go. For hair.. I’ve had a pretty boring series of haircuts all my life; I’ve never ever dyed my hair, never done anything wild in styling it, and have never had an unusual cut. I cut my own hair now, which is an easy 2-minute buzz of my back and side hair and a 20-minute to an hour long haphazard job with my top and front hair which I hack at using a pair of scissors and a wild amount of self-doubt.
So, I’ve had some haircuts that I preferred. For a long time it was really long hair – so no haircut at all. More recently it’s been short hair.
Here’s me with messy short hair (and overall messy look) which I liked a lot at the time:
I still like the messy short hair – it’s easy, and looks alright sometimes. Having looks look good by chance was my style philosophy for a while. Intentionally stylized looks could be fake, or forced. But they could be beautiful too.
My lazy style meant throwing on all the clothes I loved, messy hair don’t care. Now I guess I’m thinking of paring back, wearing maybe just 3 colors at most lol. To all the clothes I loved before.. I’m still thinking of clothes I love as items that I can still love…just not all on myself 100% of the time.
Hair is still a WIP. I love my black hair, I don’t think I’d ever dye it. I also don’t like gel, so the best I could do is something wild with the buzz. Or I could start wearing wigs.. Khruangbin vibes?
How to capture the essence of a moment
To capture the essence of a moment, put it in a bottle and secure itâs precious quality for later reminiscence. How to:
1. Find an empty part of the mind.
2. Keep mind open.
3. Allow momentâs sensations and emotions to flow into the vacant lot.
4. Focus on capturing the essence.
5. Seal the memory by soaking oneself in its sensory perceptions and feelings.
Ender’s Game
Just watched the movie. Out of pure curiosity, I mean thereâs a movie, why not watch it? Gavin Hood directed it, and he also did Wolverine, which was absolutely pounded by the critics. I found that out after the viewing, so I could watch it unbiased and develop my own opinion in contrast to the book. All of my following statements are obviously my own personal opinion, I donât want to sound pretentious, or odd about the whole thing.
A book adapted into a film will always have itâs shortcomings. Unfortunately, Enderâs Game had many, but it had some redeeming factors worth pointing out. The book allows the reader to peek into Enderâs mind, and the benefit of the third-person limited-omniscient viewpoint is that the protagonist is much more complex, and his thoughts are compounded thoroughly, resulting in a truly visceral experience.The movie on the other hand was handicapped by itâs inability to see into the Enderâs mind, therefore we had to rely on the characterâs actions, and put our faith in Asaâs acting prowess. To say the least, he did well! I didnât like how Gavin modified the script at some points, he even omitted the kiss from Alai, which I thought was a pivotal point in the plot structure. Instead he allowed the momentous encounter to pass without much recognition. A kiss on the cheek implanted the instance deep into the readerâs mind, a mere gesture of departure does not do the same for the viewer. This along with many other details, were chopped off from the body of the original plot. The movie suffered from shallow characterization in favor of eye-catching special effects, which were, as expected, spectacular. One thing I did like about Gavinâs revision was the alteration of the mind-game. It was practical in itâs execution, and added a layer to the otherwise woefully mundane Ender. The movie moved too fast for my taste, a side-effect of the many omissions and revisions. Now that Iâm done degrading the movie, I canât find any reasons to commend it. I mean, the Battle School was a dazzling set to look at. Asa Butterfield is great, but that deserves itâs own little draft, because if Iâm gonna mention greatness, I have to point out Harrison Ford, Ben Kingsley, and Viola Davis. I couldnât get Davisâs maid character in The Help out of my head thoughâŠ.
Well thatâs all, I thought I would have an intelligent discourse on the film, but I guess in the end Iâm just disappointed. The book wowed me so much I read it twice! I was hoping the same for the movie, but in the back of my mind I knew this crazy sci-fi concept would be blown up in favor of mass appeal. So yeah; lots of action, explosions, not much character development, but I understand that. Once again-Asa Butterfield, that is all.#asa butterfield#ender’s game#harrison ford#viola davis#ben kingsley
Movie Marathon
This weekend I watched on Friday:
Frozen, Basquiat, and Enderâs Game.
Saturday: Adventureland, North by Northwest, and Addams Family Values
A Single Man
Just watched this movie directed by Tom Ford (yes the fashion designer) and I am completely blown away. The visuals were so gratifying, but at the same time served an important purpose in the filmâs style and themes. Ford tells the story (based on a book) so strikingly well, there are times when I slowed down in sync with the scene slowing down. Iâm typing this on my phone so I canât express completely how impressed I am by this movie. The great art direction, moody music, and powerful performances come together incredibly well. I honestly only have praises for this film, which means I should probably stop typing. I only write when I feel the need to critique a movie (Enderâs Game), but this one moved me so. I should analyze what I think certain parts of the movie mean.
Doom doom doom [Sibilance]
Not much activity.Â
Sporadic sessions of singing, always surreptitiously.
Soothing solvents for stressful situations.
Several sighs soar sometimes.
Settling softly on Supermanâs shoulders.
Sea shell structures.
Daniel Nguyen
No title originally
Where does originality come from. The wise always say it starts with imitation, but doesnât that sound counter-intuitive? Be yourself by first applying elements of anotherâs persona. Ah maybe Iâm just confusing myself with the terminology.. Originality or greatness. To be truthful: I took this from Kill Your Darlings. The small clip when Professor Steaves writes and says, âGreatness comes from imitationâ, or something along those lines. Ginsberg doesnât look so convinced. I truly believed it though(prior to KYD), but now Iâm questioning everything. I mean yes, everyone has to start somewhere if tabula rasa is real. We are shaped by our experiences, but I also think by the people weâre around and draw influence from either willingly or subconsciously. Is it possible to have entirely unique experiences, devoid of mainstream culture and pass paradigms? Well, one would need extremely radical parents. The more I think of it, the more it seems absolutely impossible. I canât even fathom a family like that, though I can some who come very, very close, but never fulfill the characteristics established above. Like a hyperbola; getting infinitely close but never crossing that asymptote. Ha! I found it: posterityâŠUm too late now, but yes it means all future generations (of people). To be honest, I donât think that model is even desirable. Certain aspects of our already established society should be kept, while some should definitely be thrown away. But how can we as the people agree upon what is changed and what is not? When something from the long-standing paradigm is extirpated, their will be a reaction that instigates further changes that will climax in an uncontrollable succession of radical movements, then the original intention of the moderates will be lost among the cloud of crazed revolutionaries.
Just Kids
Iâve been going through the pages of Patti Smithâs life with Robert Mapplethorpe. Roberts have been popping up, Robert Graysmith is another, from Zodiac. Iâm not sure if that movie was what I wanted. I wanted something more shocking, more Silence of the Lambs. âHurdy gurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy gurdy gurdy manâŠ.â
Itâs April. The theme for this month isâŠ..solitude. No I think thatâs been my theme for long enough. I picture my junior year as a new start, I want to reach out to people more. Join more clubs, talk to people, stay after school for activities. Can an introvert really do all those things? If I can learn anything from Susan, itâs that you need a solid-rock-hard heart for this. But I donâtâŠright now. Anyway sheâs already extroverted, a people person.
I canât seem to develop my own thoughts, Iâm everywhere with repetitive words and meaningless rambles. I type and type, but most of the clicks and clacks are backspaces of furious neglect. See? That didnât even make sense, can I just <ââJUST! always just, always okay always whatever or whoever this whole thing, my vocabulary, is laughable! You think I use words well? Well think again because well and well right after each other. Iâm so dissapointed in myself. Wow a typo, no actually youâre just dumb. JUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTL;JKA
