How to Become a FULL Cube of Plexiglass

Manic chicken operatives: is this actually the font I’m using right now? Oh yeah. I want to move into the door next tO me.

I’m in Bosnia here it’s here. Loose endorphins
misremembering all the start dates to my obsessions
everything is so
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02/21

Have you ever taken the time to look at your keys when you’re typing?
Just look at them, look look look, it’s scary. Syntax to semantics shit. Right? These things are easy. Touche. 
Woolly mammoth python breaks circles FUCK 

Today in rewind. “right what’s do gotta you, city your in”

Listening to John Maus talk about contemporary music and the mainstream conversation around it. Roommate watching The Big Short. Going out going in deeper. Sucking out water from the sink to kill toothpaste when it was a foam when it was a paste. Wringing out my air to collect discomfort. Ah that’s the stuff. Grah.

Man, so that places me back to Slaughterhouse-Five days. Scroll up to pg. 155, flip back to chapter 7. Valencia dies at this moment, she drives to the hospital next. I don’t swallow those goddamn pills yet and I don’t listen to music that bounces off the back of my head like we’re playing wall ball.

Roommate leaves arrives, takes some water out places some in. I CALL A MAN.

10 Day Journaling Challenge: Day 9

Inspired by an accidental subscription to a Skillshare class taught by Emily Gould. Read her old blog here.


I’m thankful for the end of Stranger Things. I’m thankful for the emotions it brought up. I’m thankful to Mike and Eleven. I’m thankful to this and that, here now and then gone when. I’m thankful to chicken breasts again. I’m thankful, but just a little less than before, to the dollar and something Prego “roasted parmesan alfredo” sauce that honestly came out way too liquidy. I’m thankful to the process of cellular degeneration, and I’m honestly a bit grossed out by it. I’m thankful to smooth skin, smooth desk chairs and smooth keys. I’m thankful for opportunities I’ve yet to apply to. I’m thankful to the opportunities that I have applied to and maybe didn’t get but were fun to go for at the time. I’m thankful for my heavy hands and busy mind, the way I can get preoccupied. I’m thankful preoccupation hasn’t been occupied..yet. By a job. Or something to do with money, the darnedest thing. 

Today I noticed the wifi is still out, same as yesterday and perhaps earlier this week. Today I noticed it’s Friday! and I haven’t had a very productive M-F. Today I noticed sighing really deeply after that last sentence, I also noticed sounds outside the door. Today I noticed I’m broke, which I tend to notice a lot. Today I noticed a lot, but I don’t have much need to write it all down.


Each day I’ll upload a post from the challenge involving the prompt “I’m thankful” or “I’m grateful” and “Today I noticed.” If you take up the challenge yourself, please share them with me! I would love to read and write together.

10 Day Journaling Challenge: Day 8

Inspired by an accidental subscription to a Skillshare class taught by Emily Gould. Read her old blog here.


I’m thankful for the reliable effects of chicken breast pan-fried in garlic and olive oil. I’m thankful for mushroom alfredo sauce bought for $2.12. I’m thankful for the mixing of butter, the sheen of boxed noodles from salted water, I’m thankful from the second floor corner office of The Hofstra Chronicle. I’m thankful to still nights and distant fireworks, to broad time, between stars and still air and places to rest. 

Today I noticed the square bases of new solo cups. “Up for anything” – squared based, less spills, more grip, less slip – the bullet points in the shape of a square and hand emoji. Today I noticed bonkers wildings, today I noticed a pile of written words. Today I noticed paralysis. Today I noticed things ignored. Today I noticed eating words eating words. Today I noticed a pierced veil. Today I noticed 3-D printing. Today I noticed staffs, the people and the fancy stick kind. Today I noticed gross relief. Today I noticed putting yourself first. Today I noticed the Christmas lights in my room. Today I noticed the curve of my eye. Today I noticed a couple things wrong with my teeth. Today I noticed a strange sticking sensation in between the molars. Today I noticed I thought maybe it was the chicken. Today I noticed chicken has hormones in it! Today I noticed perhaps I’m paranoid, but maybe it really does have effects on your body’s chemical composition. Today I noticed my housemate’s bottom right abdomen area. Today I noticed the area around my neck, beneath my chin – it’s been dry and flaky and like a leather chicken’s chin lately, I think I must have overwashed it. Today I noticed a pee-like smell from some of the clothes I left out too long, it must be a different sort of mildew – I put it back for another wash and two dries earlier today. Today I noticed the wifi was still out. Today I noticed I should probably just go to the office and apply to some things there. Today I noticed Parks and Rec is brilliant. Today I noticed Katie from CollegeHumor is brilliant. Today I noticed parts of my tongue and the taste of cold spit. Today I noticed features of my body. Today I noticed pains and aches that start in my brain and extend to the back of my head. Today I noticed sensations that blip in an out like missed signals. Today I noticed stretching is easy and easily the hardest thing you have to do to keep yourself okay and not dying from weird limb things. Today I noticed how many people had been in my car before.


Each day I’ll upload a post from the challenge involving the prompt “I’m thankful” or “I’m grateful” and “Today I noticed.” If you take up the challenge yourself, please share them with me! I would love to read and write together.

Where do we go from here?

Yesterday I went to my first social anxiety group. It took place in a small room with four walls and a tiny window at the end. Around the table sat three girls, one in sniffles and the other two in silence. On top of the table were some pieces of paper and markers, many out of ink and mismatched with their caps.  I sat to the right of the counselor. His blood-shot eyes were a little concerning.

wishful erudition

This is an old post.

Sitting around the dining table with the clock nearing noon, TheYP is struggling to figure out each of our individual duties, predicaments, and TBDs. Temitope is trying to find an online class to register for focusing on his degree in creative writing and poetry. Matt is just attempting to edit our copious amounts of film from yesterday’s bike/trek to Ossining. Arlinda is possessive of as much sangfroid as ever, and even if she were under distress I don’t think it would be big deal. She deals with things. Mostly right now I’m thinking she’s corresponding with a close friend/family.

Now for me, I’m clicking through the inordinate cluster of tabs I’ve accumulated over the past weeks on this defunct laptop-hoping to find a way to organize my priorities and enrich my achievements while grappling with the bull of purpose that’s charging at me nonstop. If you could, endure another terrible analogy. Indecision’s vaporous tentacles are nipping at my heels like a stealthy death that won’t let me walk freely. Another hour has passed. More achievements pop up- like a kid asked what he wants to do and revels in the “excellence fully-formed” (Grit, Duckworth). Mundanity is…mundane. There isn’t much description needed to articulate why I’m sick after the first flirtation with a new subject. Remember when you abandoned drawing because you reasoned you would never be good enough? And that time you practiced Fur Elise just as a tease into a stereotype you partly wanted to reap the benefits of? Even now, typing, the sound of typing, sees you as a wishful erudite.

Step One to collecting your pretension and throwing it off a flaming cliffside:

Stop quoting authors you’ve only partially read. <–at the same time I should feel free to express my interest in an author’s thoughts. Let’s revoke that step.

The largest decision seems to be whether I want to go to Hofstra or not b/c that decision lies solely on my hands. On my heart. Sartre, decisions carry too much weight. I don’t want to be atlas

10 Day Journaling Challenge: Day 7

Inspired by an accidental subscription to a Skillshare class taught by Emily Gould. Read her old blog here.


I’m thankful to the sheets on my bed. I’m thankful for the challenge of being. I’m thankful for thanking and thankful for myself. I’m thankful for moving on. I’m thankful for clunky syntax and imperfect diction, I’m thankful for uncertain grammar and cracked punctuation. I’m thankful for art and I’m thankful I can see. I’m thankful it hurts to breathe from my body. I’m thankful from my skin, lost in its boundaries I’m thankful to the men on hills and the men in the valleys. “I’m thankful,” I said. I’m thankful I said.

Today I noticed pretty. Today I noticed stuck. Today I noticed cons and pros and lists on lists and the Whitney’s way of towering. Today I noticed anagrams in the canopies of trees, and I spelled it wrong. Today I noticed leaving and today I – screamed. 



Each day I’ll upload a post from the challenge involving the prompt “I’m thankful” or “I’m grateful” and “Today I noticed.” If you take up the challenge yourself, please share them with me! I would love to read and write together.

10 Day Journaling Challenge: Day 6

Inspired by an accidental subscription to a Skillshare class taught by Emily Gould. Read her old blog here.


I’m thankful to the WordPress customer service team. 

Today I noticed myself. 


Each day I’ll upload a post from the challenge involving the prompt “I’m thankful” or “I’m grateful” and “Today I noticed.” If you take up the challenge yourself, please share them with me! I would love to read and write together.

10 Day Journaling Challenge: Day 5

Inspired by an accidental subscription to a Skillshare class taught by Emily Gould. Read her old blog here.


I’m thankful for. I’m thankful for my dad I think full for evil toI’m thankful for being able to read and write English something my dad thinks it’s a bill a blessing do you think knowing English speaker down much more capable of having a break gray pewter right future right bright great future

Today I noticed point one of three. Today I noticed tooth decay in my mouth. Today I noticed seeing colors. Today I noticed cats. Today I noticed an about to sneeze. 


Each day I’ll upload a post from the challenge involving the prompt “I’m thankful” or “I’m grateful” and “Today I noticed.” If you take up the challenge yourself, please share them with me! I would love to read and write together.

P.S. The first paragraph was dictated to my phone.

10 Day Journaling Challenge: Day 4

Inspired by an accidental subscription to a Skillshare class taught by Emily Gould. Read her old blog here.


I’m grateful for phones. I’m grateful for notifications. I’m grateful for my fingers on these keys. I’m thankful for the way june junipers bloom into incandescent canticles. I’m thankful for the words I’ve read, the books I’ve harvested and the books that’ve reaped me. I’m thankful for words. I’m thankful for the words. I’m thankful for these words. I’m thankful for their indelible effect and their impermanence in memory. 

Today I noticed the requirements on my loan applications form: “Must be enrolled in over 6 credits. Must have Master Promissory Note.” Today I noticed 100k in the sky, out of reach. Today I noticed porn tab, porn tab, productivity tab, porn porn productivity, porn tabs and work tabs. 


Each day I’ll upload a post from the challenge involving the prompt “I’m thankful” or “I’m grateful” and “Today I noticed.” If you take up the challenge yourself, please share them with me! I would love to read and write together.