Blogging addiction?

recently I’ve been blogging whenever I’m free. This happens after work and is sort of a resting point for me to meditate and recap what I’ve been feeling about a litany of things: job, money, school, blogs, passion projects, people, the past and more. Never-ending fodder for the blog.

To be honest I don’t know what I’ve been doing for the past few years. Sometimes I feel strongly about the future. That’s what I’m obsessed with. Long-term changes. I think in an essential way the small stuff touches hands with the big stuff, embraces and leaves me wondering all the whys and whos and whats, whens, wheres and hows. I guess the ssomettimess small things evolve into bigger things which were always small things to begin with. Evolution is stasis on a relative scale, and I manipulate myself kidding what’s changing is ever going to not be different from before.

I wrote a long time ago that school was supposed to teach us about life – and used the imagery of Alexander the Great, chopping Gordian’s Knot in half. The complexity is so simple though. I wonder why I equated a school to a sword. I would think almost eugenically: a sword shorn by duller blades, a shard sharpened and dulled by other shards. Sharp sharp sharp brought into a brazier (read: armory) of glistening LVL 100+ swords. They’re simple and they shine. I can’t get this out of my head.

dissolution is a barrel in the sea

dissolution is time in a barrel in limbo in the sea

It’s hard to see it.

Moving on.

tagging these from a random blog: ANXIETY, ANXIOUS, BLOG, BLOGGER, CHANGE, COACHING, CONFIDENCE, EMOTIONAL, EXCUSES, FEAR, GROWTH, HAPPINESS, HARDWORK, HELP, ILLNESS, INSPIRATION, INSPIRE, LIFE, LIFESTYLE, LOST, LOVE, MENTAL, MENTAL HEALTH, MILLENNIAL, MOTIVATION, MYSELF, NEW, PATIENCE, PERSONAL, PRIORITIES, PSYCHOLOGY, RANT, REMINDER, SABOTAGE, SAFE, SCARED, SCHOOL, SELF IMPROVEMENT, SELFCARE, SELFSABOTAGE, STRESS, THOUGHTS, WORK

Hypnagogia and Conscious Liminality

I can’t help looking at all the leaves piled up either and can’t help feeling accomplished, like that’s enough, no more needed. But there were sparks in my brain earlier about the instances of liminality. Oh: of course, the state of mind in between asleep and awake. And awake and asleep-hypnagogia. The instance in a remembrance before the remembrance is identified, so they’re just unnamed aspects floating (why do they float?). Why do names anchor + and their purpose (they are here to bring light, oh and so you can past tests). Stoner so Stoner was one of these floating aspects in my hypnagogic state (is there a different term for the opposite? asleep->awake) lengthening the land with some dreamy rain loops. 

Oh this sounds like a good description of my TV movie vision (most that’s been lost now but the two-three scenes) : Mary Shelley, too, said she got the inspiration for Frankenstein from a “waking dream” in the wee hours of the morning, writing, “I saw with eyes shut, but acute mental vision,” according to The Guardian. 

“The state is also marked by reduced activity in the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which is involved in planning, decision-making and social behavior.“ Need to plan in advance. for productive flow of words, so I can focus on the words and not the ideas so much I get in my own way.

“Hypnagogia is trippy, and can give rise to some bizarre visual and perceptual hallucinations. It’s common for people to experience dream-like visions, sounds, flashes of color, insights, sensations and barely formed thoughts.” wooh trippy, italics. BARELY FORMED, work cut out for a used car blow up guy. im puddy 

Other instances of liminality: FREAKING TRANSPO SITES. E.g. train stations, airports, especially airports fuck.